“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there’s a big disappointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don’t know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don’t know.” ~ Pema Chodron
Hi all – I am back. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know that it has been so very long since I have posted… but as you are certainly aware… things in Ukraine just went from bad to worse. We kept vigil for quite some time – but finally in the fall we came to the realization that there was really no imaginable thing that could occur that would rationalize traveling to Eastern Ukraine. There is just no way that we would put ourselves in that questionable of a position… for ourselves and certainly considering Rachel.
So, we made a couple of decisions…
First of all, Bob decided that it was time to get his hip fixed. He has been struggling with it for a very long time – developing the Bob Osman shuffle. And this gate actually began to take its toll on other parts of Bob’s body… specifically his back and knees. So, he found the Docs, made the appointment and is receiving his new hip as I begin typing this entry.
It is a little hard being in the hospital again. I quietly realized as I sat with him this morning that I had really not been back in the hospital since I left Minnesota. And just looking at all the stuff that was part of our everyday lives for so long – the gloves, the iv’s, the masks, those white heated blankets… and that hospital smell – it kind of drove me back in time for a minute. It’s the first time I really thought about how in just a day… we went from one way of living to another… another that was drastically different. And my dear Rachel was quite sad last night and this morning as she left for school… focused on all the things that could go wrong – both realistically and in her imagination. This is a tough result of our life experience – there’s really no sugarcoating medical possibilities – there are no guarantees and Rachel has learned that firsthand.
However, I am glad that Bob has taken this step… and his stay should only be over a night. All the feedback that we have gotten from folks that have undergone this surgery is that it is totally worth it. And… with Rachel and me to take care of him… I dare say he’s in good hands. Plus, we got him one of those grabber tools – 36” long… so he’ll be independent in no time!! HA!
So that’s the new hip…
So what about the “new chapter”? Well, another decision that we made in the fall was to have our adoption home study converted to a domestic home study. Now… you might wonder why we didn’t start with a domestic home study… and actually, we would have. However, after meeting with folks from Fairfax County – and explaining our family’s history (in detail) – I left under the impression that our only option for adopting in the U.S. was the foster-to-adopt scenario which, for obvious reasons, was not the best plan for our family. The last thing that we needed was to have a child come to live with us for a year… two years… and then leave.
So… off to Ukraine we went. And… off to war Ukraine went. And then… somewhere along the way doors opened here in the U.S. and resources that had certainly been there all this time became apparent. So, we changed direction once again.
And once our home study was revised we got online and made inquiries into about 10 kiddos all around the country. And, about a week before Christmas we received a phone call informing us that our home study had been selected as fitting one of the profiles. And today, we are about a week away from making a decision about a little boy, Michael, in North Carolina. We went from working with almost no information to having a boatload of information and we are using this information to make an informed decision.
What’s even better is that just after Christmas we were able to drive down to North Carolina, attend an interview with Social Services where we were able to ask just as many questions as they were… we were all speaking the same language… AND afterward, we went to a local pizza shop and met Michael and his foster mom. He didn’t know who we were, but he didn’t care and I’m pretty sure Rachel would have loaded him in the car and brought him home at the end of the evening. They had a great time playing together.
On the 28th of this month, we will get a final assessment regarding some questions that we had. And, after that – we will have a family meeting and we will make a decision.
So… a new chapter? Perhaps. Certainly lots of reasons to start writing again.